Angelic Witch

Quotes Quotes Quotes (3)

2011-10-01T04:22:00.000-07:00

1. Every bad situation will have something positive. Even a stopped closk shows correct time twice a day. So stay positive in life.

2. It's not always right to stay in pain when you know you've already had too much... And it isn't always wrong to be happy, when you know it's about time that you deserve to be.

3. Sacrifices are sometimes useless especially if that someone doesn't know how to appreciate... They'll come to realize important things when it's already too late.

4. Don't say: "This is the best time of my life." As Homer Simpson would say, "This is the best time of my life, so far!" Best things are yet to come.

5. A perfect partner in life is someone you canbe with and talk about anything without realizing that the day is over... Someone who will always listen and feel twice the joy or pain you're going through... When you start to feel that "connection", never let it go because there's more to companionship than to love only... In the end, when all else fails, and are consumed, you will always hold on to those times when you don't even need to hear the words "I love you."

6. There's no limit to how much the heart can give but it's only the mind that can tell you to stop because your limit has been reached and cannot be exceeded.

7. Everyday, a deer awakens knowing it must outrun the fastest lion or be hunted to death. Everyday too, a lion awakens knowing it must outrun the slowest deer or starve to death. In this lifetime, it doesn't matter whether you're a deer or a lion; When the sun rises, you should be running at your best.

8. Like turtles, take one day at a time. It's not how fast you move nor how long you live, it's how you cherish every moment... Life is a gift. Enjoy it.

9. The real essence of saying the truth is not for them to believe you; instead for them to realize that you don't have time to lie.

10. Too bad, love doesn't have a "best before" seal... because perhaps it wouldn't be that painful if people knew when would it end.

11. Moving on isn't about "never looking back." It's about taking a glance at yesterday and noticing how much you've grown since then.

12. Things in life move with twists and turns. And they happen with valid reasons. So if you doubt why something happens to you, stick to this: "We can never learn to be brave and strong if the only thing in this world is joy. You have people around you too, so you don't have to fight alone."

13. Never play on someone who showed you what love means. Because only when it's too late that you'll realize you've lost something you would never ever have again.

14. Waiting for someone you love is never easy. It may even be irrelevant especially when the one you're waiting for ain't aware that you're waiting...

15. If it comes down to a choice between being unloved and being vulnerable and sensitive and emotional, then you can just keep your love.

16. When you make decisions in life, there are always two thoughts to consider... if you're half-way sure, forget it. If you're sure, think again.

17. Kinda wondering why sunset is a lot colorful than the sunrise that just actually gives us light... I guess it's the irony of life... there's 'good' in goodbyes.

18. For just once, I wanna be the reason why he cut his hair just because I told him so. The reason why he eats something just because it's my favorite food. The reason why he buys a shirt just because I have the same color. The reason why he falls asleep while holding his phone at night. The reason why he loves something he used to hate because I love it. And lastly, I wanna be the reason why he smiles and laughs. I wanna be the "because" of his every "whys."

19. Strong people make mistakes like weak people do. The difference is: strong people admit them, laugh at them and learn from them. That's how they become strong.

20. Sometimes, someone comes along and makes you doubt your love to someone... They're not better, they're just different.

Fr. Suarez' Healing Mass

2011-09-27T21:35:00.000-07:00

After attending Fr. Suarez' healing mass last Monday, I felt lighter than ever. I just hope that this new-found optimism would last. I know that it will not be easy - to be always cheerful, to see things in perspective most of the time, and to be more patient.

My life has been better in many aspects this year. But admittedly, I've never changed. I still whine about things I want to have, and I still complain a lot. Instead of appreciating what I have, I tend to focus on what's missing in my life. After listening to Fr. Suare'z homily the other day, I reflected and told myself that really, we should live our lives to the fullest and stop complaining.

I can't promise that I won't complain ever because that will be inhuman, but I'll try at least to focus on the positive things in my life.

I want to thank the Lord for blessing me with a stable job in a reputable institution, the opportunity to pursue Graduate Studies, loving and supportive family and friends, a relationship that is bound to last forever, and a person who loves and understands me completely. I could not ask for more.

Of course, there are still a lot of things that I wish for... But I know that God will give them to me during the right time. I pray that He will grant me patience, patience, patience.

Patience reaps happiness. I should know, because I found out that true love waits. :) It may seem like forever waiting for the right person for you. But when you meet that person meant for you, you will just feel that he is indeed a gift from God that's worth the wait.

Cheers to Fr. Suarez for the wake-up call! And cheers to the Lord for his undying love for all of us. ;)

Steady in Love

2011-09-22T01:21:00.000-07:00

Before, I tend to measure the intensity of my feelings for a person with the level of “kilig” moments. I associate my “being all smiles” and “being on a high” with a potential of true love. But now I’m feeling that something inside me has changed.

Gone are the days when I get so envious of girls who have a very happy love life. I no longer feel the pressure to go search for ‘the one” whenever a friend of mine starts a relationship with someone new. And I don’t feel irritated anymore with my nosy aunts and uncles who kept on asking me when will I tie the knot...simply because I’ve found THE ONE. 

I guess, this quote is one of my guiding principles in my life now: “Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.”

Our relationship has calmed me in many ways. With him by my side, I’ve been slowly learning how to worry less and be more patient. So far, our relationship has been smooth and he has made me happy in a thousand ways. This does not mean though that the steadiness of our relationship makes me less dreamy in love and romance.

I still feel the jitters whenever he gets near me, I still feel giddy when he looks at me, and I feel like melting right then and there when he starts to hold me near. Just the idea of him touching me is enough to send shivers to my spine! See, it’s still the same old me! I’m still the same hopeless romantic Nicole who used to dream of having a happy ending with my prince- only a little wiser and more focused in more important things in the relationship such as the plans for the future.

Now, I can say that I have intense feelings for him that go beyond “being all smiles” and “being on a high.” “Intense feelings” is in fact a weak phrase to capture my exact emotions. All I can is, I know that I love him because I am willing to sacrifice a lot of things for him, to risk everything just to be with him, and to hold on no matter what challenges may come our way.

Crispy Pata Craving

2011-09-21T01:41:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I was craving for crispy pata. It was about past 3 PM and I was busy working at my desk when suddenly, I imagined that I was feasting on crispy pata with rice and toyo with sili as sawsawan plus a glass of cold Coke! Yummy! Hayyyy.. and I guess until now I feel that I need to eat crispy pata!!! :D My taste buds just won't let it go. I can't stop thinking about crispy pata.... how will I get over this feeling???

Weird, but I also feel a bit nostalgic of the thought of crispy pata. When we were younger and my dad was still alive, he used to ask us to buy Ka Hector's ever famous crispy pata near our house. It was the best crispy pata in Pasig I guess! So tender, juicy, and smells good! My brother and I would usually walk hand in hand and enter a small eskinita to go to Ka Hector's house turned crispy pata store. From their gate we would already smell that perfect aroma that we just wanna head home with that crispy pata and start to devour it. Good ol childhood days are just some of the best times in my life. I never get tired reminiscing about them... until now I remember the smell, the feel, and the taste of Ka Hector's crispy pata.

Now, enough of this melodrama portion. I just want to eat crispy pata!!! :D

To be or not to be fat?

2011-09-05T21:52:00.000-07:00

A month ago, I was complaining a lot.- I’m getting fat, my clothes won’t fit, I look a bit ugly chubby! I didn’t do anything about it; I didn’t go on a diet or exercise. But a ‘subconsicous’ part of me (if that’s what you call it, like an impulsive reaction that you’re not fully aware of?) knew I was cutting back on eating. I used to eat a lot, pandesal on my desk, cookies in my bag, siomai side trip on my way home… But when comments like “you’re fat” and “you should lose weight” started bugging me, I panicked. I eliminated the pandesal, the ccokies, and just occasional siomai! Just one comment about my size and there you go, I start to feel that the whole world is on my shoulders. Then I’d start googling about “tips to lose weight” and “why you’re fat.” Hello Little Ms. Worry!
A while ago, I got that “you’re getting skinny” comment from three people – my mom, my officemate, and a co-employee from another department. And ironically (or not), I had that same irritated feeling when I hear that “you’re fat” statement. What should I do???
I love my body but I hate it that it changes so fast! If only I could just maintain the ideal weight and look. And why are people around me always take notice of any changes in my body??? Hahaha. I just want to be a bubble! Bubble forever! Hahaha. :D

Now, you judge: Fat or skinny??

Still counting

2011-08-17T22:01:00.000-07:00

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”

Yes, sometimes we complain about what's missing in our life, that we tend to overlook many chances to be happy. When times get hard, we fail, or sometimes refuse to understand why we have to go through a certain problem or dilemma. Sometimes it's hard to see through God's plans that we question Him for not having everything we want. But if we just pause for a while and reflect, it's surprising that there's a lot to be thankful for.

Everytime I feel sad, I remind myself of the blessings that I received. Despite the losses, there were gains. Inspite of the tears there were laughters. And even if I had too much heartache, I realize that life is so beautiful after all, because there is love if only you choose to love and be loved (cliche! hehe).

I'm counting my blessings starting this year, and I do hope to count them regularly. Despite the bad and low times, there were definitely a lot of good and happy times:

1. We lost our small business that my mom has enjoyed managing for the past 1 /1/2 years, but at least, our legal battle with some of our relatives finally ended. No more sleepless nights and financial worries. I told my mom that we don't need the unnecessary stress and pain. We survived without that lot and business that almost everybody in our clan is claiming, then we will still survive. God will provide.

2. I'm still saddled with a few loans because of my sister's tuition fee and other house expenses, but at least, my sister finally graduated from college. Now I can slowly repay all my loans. I wanna live a debt-free life... I am now seriously saving for a property, vacation, and wedding! Haha goodluck.

3. I wasn't able to go to the beach at all during summer, but at least I'll be going to Palawan before this year ends. I missed the beach!

4. Two of my closest friends went abroad this year. I'm still not used to the idea that they're out there in a far away land. Sometimes I feel that they're just a call or text away. But at least, I got to see another two good friends this year- one is based in the US and she came back here after 7 long years, while one is based in Abu Dhabi as a flight attendant- we barely see each other even if she ferries back and forth from her homebase to Manila.

5. Early last year, I finally ended an on and off relationship that lasted for almost 9 years. Yes it surely made me devastated, since our separation was not that smooth as I expected it to be. But.. not AT LEAST.. but THANK THE LORD... Mascot came into my life during the most unexpected time. I can't say a lot to explain how happy and loved he made me feel, and is making me feel up to now. My exact feelings are beyond words that sometimes it's a bit surreal for me. I'm just thankful that I have found the one person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. After all that I've been through, I'm grateful that God gave him to me. HE'S THE BEST GIFT I GOT THIS YEAR. :)

Let's count our blessings and be happy! :)

Sinigang Express

2011-08-13T22:43:00.000-07:00

Since I met my dear Mascot, I've been into cooking. I want to write about the dishes I've mastered cooking these past few days. I guess it would help me not forget the ingredients and steps in preparing each meal.

Everybody at home loves pork sinigang. So I guess it's a recipe that I should master. Here's my codigo on pork sinigang:

Ingredients: pork, water, radish, okra, salt, fish sauce, kangkong, Tamarind mix

Steps:

1. Boil pork, wait til it's tender. Put in tomatoes and onions.
2. Add sliced radish and okra.
3. Mix and put salt and fish sauce.
4. Pour in Tamarind mix.
5. Put sili and kangkong, and then stir.

Voila! Pork Sinigang best served hot, with fish sauce as sawsawan. :)

Quotes Quotes Quotes (2)

2011-08-13T07:38:00.000-07:00

1. Do you know what happens when you hurt people? They may begin to love you less and begin to forget that they loved you once...

2. If you compare yourself with others you may become vain and bitter because there will always be persons lesser and greater than yourself.

3. Only music can let us sing... Only music can make our feet dance. And only music can let our mind reminisce back to our past. But what's important about music is it can be the voice of what we feel inside especially when we are mute by the words of our hearts.

4. Too many os us stay walled because we are too afraid to care too much... for fear that the other person does not care as much, or at all...

5. Why do I call you my friend? Is it because senseless thoughts turn into sensible conversations? Or because frown become laughter no matter how painful the problem gets? Those are just few of the many reasons... The best, I think is that we may not be living in the same world, may not be experiencing the same life, may not share the same memories... but we're still the same, we're still friends no matter how vague life gets.

6. How do you draw the line between love and friendship? In friendship, we create love... In love, we risk friendship. It's hard but I guess sometimes wanting more means losing everything.

7. When your feelings get strong for someone, it's always wise to stop for a while and give your heart time to breathe. A time to use your mind, to weigh the situation based on reason, not on emotion. Because the saddest thing that can happen is when one falls in love while the other wants nothing more than friendship. Love can sometimes be magic, but magic can sometimes be an illusion.

8. Sometimes it's better to be lost anywhere in this world where you can ask for directions back, than be lost inside yourself where redemption lies in your hands alone.

9. It's fatal to believe into something that for sure won't happen... but it's pretty damn deadly not to hope a bit...

10. All of the things in life change. It happens with valid reason. So if you doubt why it happens to you stick to this: we can never learn to be brave and patient if there's only one joy in the world.

11. Don't tie your heart to a person who has nothing to offer you. You may say you're in love, you might even say he or she is your soul mate, but is that enough to fill your need for love? Let it go... It might hurt for a while, but when you get over it, you'll find it's for the better.

12. If you miss an opportunity, do not cloud your eyes with tears... Instead, keep your vision clear so that you will not miss the next one.

13. I may talk everyday like I won't ever get tired... laugh as if it's my last... I give advices to problems like as if I know how to handle mine. I live my life as if everything's just fine... but the truth is, "giving up" is already next in line.

14. The modern Mutual Understanding (MU) - you stay together, spend time with each other, and you share everything... except one thing - commitment.

15. There comes a point in our lives when the heart grows tired. It grows numb from hate, it stops beating for love, it runs out of compassion, it doesn't soften from pain. But not because of insensitivity, but because, it simply wants to move on, and live an uncomplicated life.

16. You won't fully enjoy a swing unless you raise your feet from the ground. You won't fully enjoy a boat ride unless you remove the rope's knot from the river bank. Your dog won't fully enjoy his "dog life" unless you remove the chain in his neck. Lesson: Never ever limit yourself when it comes to happiness, learn how to let go and move on. Life is beautiful.

17. Time may be so fast that we can't guess how long the friendship would stay, but even if time keeps us apart, even when chances push me out and away, remember... I'll never stop to care... despite my absence, between gaps and distances, the promise of you and me being friends remains, lasts, and persists. It may not be under the arms of togetherness and bonding. But beyond words... beyond spaces... beyond hindrances... friends til the end.

18. The best feeling in the world comes when you start feeling good again after feeling awful for a long time.

19. When someone hugs you, never be the first to let go.

20. Not all seemingly happy people are happy indeed... When the fun's over, some sit alone and quietly bleed.

WATER + SOAP = BUBBLES: THINGS I LOOK FORWARD TO

2011-08-10T22:08:00.000-07:00

1. My Mascot to come home – The thought of my one and only love coming home definitely sends shivers to my spine hahaha. I miss everything about him – the way he makes me laugh, the way he looks and smiles at me, the way he holds my hands, the way he touches me, the way he kisses me… and just the way he is!

2. Purchase house and lot / renovate the house - Of course, through housing loan for employees-
With a very low interest (4% per annum) payable in I think 15-25 years. Though sometimes I’m afraid of the thought of being tied to the company I’m working in for what seems like forever because of the loan, I think it’s really a really good deal that I should grab. I’ll stress about the advance payments I intend to make after the loan has been released.

3. Finish Graduate School – Going back to school, so far, has been a fun and rewarding experience. Though it sometimes stresses me out because of conflicting schedule with work, I’m glad that I took the chance to study again. I think 3 more sems and I’m done! Hopefully I pass the compre exam.

4. More savings – Now that my sister has finished school, I can save up more money. I have always wanted to save at least 5% of my monthly salary ever since but I was not able to do so because almost all of my income go to my sister’s tuition fee or loan payments. I’m glad I have accumulated quite a lot of savings since I opened my LANDBANKOOP account. I now also have another bank account which serves as my piggy bank for my savings from my salary every pay day. And of course, I’m looking forward also to the General Assembly of the Quatros Marias Cooperativas with my amigas Bonn, Jen, and Pam – just means more shopping cash for Christmas!

5. Coron vacation – Booked for November this year with Pam, Marly, and Marvin. It’s my major major beach escapade for this year. Would you believe I haven’t been to the beach last summer ever?! So before the year ends, I’m going to Coron, Palawan and chill!

6. Real Estate Sideline – Though I’m already doing initial talks with some of my contacts, I have to really devote more time for this business. I hope I can find time to attend the seminars so I can officially begin working as an agent or broker. I think I can manage this on top of my regular work and school. Is a P30,000 commission every other month feasible? Hehehe.

7. Compile photos – This has always been a dream! I have lots of photos printed out but they’re just stuck in my cabinet. I want to see all of my photos systematically arranged in photo albums. I won’t do scrapbooking though, just plain albums would do. I’m not really satisfied with my photos being posted in Facebook. I want hard copies that can be shown to visitors at home. And personally, I want to browse albums during rainy days while listening to music and sipping a cup of coffee! Bliss. 

8. Convert video tapes to DVD – I have always planned to convert my 7th birthday video (in Betamax) and 18th birthday video (in VHS) into DVD. I’m afraid I would lose those captured memories because the tapes have tarnished already. I want to watch these videos again and relish those carefree days- especially my 7th birthday video where I can watch my dad alive and kicking.

9. Body Scrub – Calling my BSB!!! (Body Scrub Buddy).. It has been ages since we last indulged in body scrub hahaha. I hope that before this year ends, we’ll have at least one BS session.- Wensha or even Let’s Face it (the orig hehe).

10. Getting engaged and married – HAHAHA. Enough said. :D BUBBLES! ;)

Giddy :D

2011-01-12T20:29:00.001-08:00

Waking up with happy thoughts,

Eating a hearty breakfast,

Savoring the cool morning breeze,

Smiling out of the blue,

Humming a love song at work.

Thoughts that excite,

A breakfast that awakens,

The breeze that soothes,

A smile that bewilders,

A song that captivates.

Exciting feelings,

Awakened senses,

Soothed emotions,

Bewildering glow,

Captivating spirit.

Feelings,

Senses,

Emotions,

Glow,

Sprit.

Giddy.

Blahhhhhs and Counter-Blahhhhhs

2011-01-10T18:33:00.000-08:00

When I have a hard time getting up in the morning for the entire week, it’s a blahhh sign. Blahhhhh means a lot of things - boredom, irritation, agitation, loss of focus and drive. It’s an inevitable mood, I guess, for everyone who has a routine to follow every day. I know I’m blahhhh when all I look forward to every start of the day is the end of the day.

Is it unhealthy? Of course, many will say yes. Most people will tell me that I should redirect my energy to something more productive to shake away the blahhhs. But how will I do that, when the mere act of thinking about the entire day already irks me?

To a certain extent, I believe that yes, being in a blahhh mood is not healthy because it robs you off the enthusiasm in the things that you usually enjoy doing. But I also think that having blahhhh moments from time to time enables you to gain a better perspective of yourself- your character, goals, and priorities in life. But I will not justify here my blahhhs, I wanna indulge in blahhhs and acknowledge the fact that I’m experiencing blahhhhhs a lot of times lately.

Blahhhs actually don’t just come out of nowhere. It’s a form of emotion which was developed through time, and due to several circumstances:

• When most of the time you are forced to deal with things that are beyond your control
• When you can always predict what will happen and what will be asked of you to do
• When you question yourself if you are doing enough even if you know that you’ve done enough
• When you feel mechanical and robotic of the things that you are doing
• When you start feeling tired because you see that other people do not do much but they can do away with it
• When you catch yourself daydreaming of the person you want to be and the place you want to be, which is of course, not the person you are now and the place you are in.

Fine, I complain and whine a lot. But honestly, I just can’t force myself to feel oh so good about the daily grind at work. Perhaps lately, 85% of the time I know what will happen, and how I will react to things and to some people. And when I feel this, I don’t over react anymore because most of the time it seems de ja vu to me – like I’ve seen this, nothing totally new. This only means, that I’m close to being jaded already.

Being jaded, for me, is the worst form of blahhhh- you just take things as they are, and you don’t feel the drive to make things better at all. You just want to accomplish what you have to do, enough of the bright and out of the box ideas. Your line of thinking is, why take on more work when you yourself is heavily loaded and you can barely comb your hair?

While I’ve been blahhhh recently until today, I’m still hoping that I can regain my excitement with a lot of things at work. You don’t need to push yourself to be more motivated – motivation is not forced upon you. You don’t even have to concentrate more – this may stress you more. And most importantly, you don’t have to pressure yourself to like something just because you have to simply because you will always have a choice. You know that if it’s too much, and you’re not happy anymore, you just have to get out. So as long as you are not getting out, then you still believe that things will eventually be better, and become happier for you.

So for the meantime, if you still decide to stay where you are, then take things as they are. To free yourself from unnecessary blahhhhs, I think you just need to learn to choose the things and people that you will allow to drain your energy. Here’s how:

• If it’s beyond your control, let it be.
• If you can’t handle it, ask help.
• If you don’t want to do it, propose compromise.

It’s easier said than done, I know. But if you think about it, you are worried a lot of what others will say about you. But have you asked yourself what you really want? While at work we don’t get to always choose what we want, remember that there are two essential things that you should do to make things lighter – to simply accept things as they are and to continue exploring for more opportunities beyond work- not necessarily a new career, but perhaps new activities that you will enjoy that are not work-related.

In the morning as you face your computer at work, just look in the mirror and say: “Matatapos din ang araw na ito. Countdown: 9 hours! ”

Quotes Quotes Quotes (1)

2010-12-04T03:42:00.000-08:00

1. Staying with someone you really like even if you know you can't be together for a lot of reasons is like standing under the rain... It feels good but you know it will make you sick.

2. When it rains, all the birds fly for shelter. But eagle alone avoids the rain by flying above the clouds. Problems are common to all but attitude makes the difference.

3. If you're shopping for a happy ending and you couldn't find one, buy a new beginning instead.

4. If you don't get out of the box you've been raised in, you won't understand how much bigger the world is. Dream on... Just do it!

5. Don't always say that "there's still time", because there's also a concept of "too late."

6. When you appreciate something, it appreciates in value. Bless the little and the little becomes a lot. When you do not appreciate something, it depreciates in value.

7. One thing worse than a quitter is the person who is afraid to begin. Doing your best is more important than being the best.

8. I always make someone happy even if I'm not... But it doesn't mean that I'm a pretender. I only want to be positive while my own world is negative.

9. Just when you've moved on and thought you've finally gone far enough, something brings you to a touchstone. And that's when you realize... Love has a habit of coming back.

10. If your head tells you one thing and your heart tells you another, before you do anything, decide first whether you have a better head or a better heart.

11. It's just simple. You don't really have to think too much... "Be with someone who knows what they have when they have you."

12. Someone asked me if I know him... a million memories flashed through my mind... then I whispered... "No... not anymore."

13. It's easy to asnwer the questions: Are you happy being with me?, Am I important to you?, Do you love me? But the hardest question is... "Until when?"

14. Freedom is something everyone wants to have at some point in time. But then, we can't remain free always. Because one day, we'll realize that to be with someone is much better than freedom itself.

15. If he acts like you're not worth in his time, maybe you're not what he wants... You're just a replacement for what he can't have.

16. If somebody is taking advantage of your feelings knowing that you love him, then tell him this: "I'm just in love and not desperate."

17. The only way you'll know how important something in your life is when it's taken away from you by someone who can take good care of it better than you do.

18. Every bad situation will have something positive. Even a stopped clock shows correct time twice a day. So stay positive in life.

19. It's not always right to stay in pain when you know you've already had too much... And it isn't always wrong to be happy when you know it's about time that you deserve to be.

20. Sacrifices are sometimes useless especially if that someone doesn't know how to appreciate... They'll come to realize important things when it's already too late.

A Very Special Love Affair

2010-11-30T21:18:00.001-08:00

Last night, I thought I lost my phone. It almost broke my heart into pieces. Many questions entered my mind, and I can barely identify my exact feelings then. I was laughing with my friends, but inside I was weeping. I kept on eating what’s on my plate, but my mind was somewhere else.

I was feeling less and less optimistic that I’d find my phone again, but I know there’s still a flicker of hope in my heart. I told myself, I can’t give up on my phone. Not this time, not this way… I would rather break up with my phone in the near future. I’d prefer also if it gives up one me. But me?? I won’t. Because I have developed a very special love affair with my phone.

How?

1. It wakes me up. If it’s gone, I won’t be on time for work most of the time because I have trouble getting up early without my phone’s sweet alarm.
2. When I wake up, it’s the first things I look at and touch.
3. My phone has been witness to all my outbursts of joy and sadness.
4. It knows a lot of secrets about me. I can’t lie to my phone. It’s in it that I open up all my emotions.
5. It has seen me fall in love and get hurt many times.
6. Before I go to sleep, it’s the last things I loot at and touch.
7. It has many uses. I use my phone as calculator, mini notebook, calendar, and photo album. I also use it as a mirror from time to time.
8. My phone captures stolen moments.
9. My phone comforts me when I’m down. I can stare at it and browse through it for hours without getting bored. And then I’d be able to sleep and forget all my worries.
10. My phone is one of my mood indicators, like Facebook. Its wall paper, theme, text settings, and phonebook settings tell a lot about my mood. In short, I express myself though my phone as well!

I’m sooooooo happy to be reunited with my phone. I learned my lesson well. Love your phone, just as you love someone special. Nurture the relationship you have, and you’ll never go wrong. If my phone could talk, I know it will tell me that it loves me too. Hahaha.

I can go out without money, as long as I have my phone- but with powder and lipstick. And yes, Betty Boop saves the day! 

Glow :)

2010-11-29T20:07:00.001-08:00

Many times you have cursed love, for being such a pain.

A lot of instances, you vow never to love so deeply again.

You've told all your friends that you need a lot of time to be able to fall in love again.

You put boundaries, thinking that it will help you heal completely.

But you can't ambush love when it's coming your way.

You can't turn away from it when it presents itself.

You can't ignore love, and you can never run away from it.

Because you know that even if you've been burnt in love, your heart will always choose to love again.

You know for a fact that the happiness it can bring, surpasses any heartache you can imagine.

No matter how hard you contain the joy in your heart, your eyes will always reveal what your heart tries to hide.

Love, indeed has the power to bring back the glow in your eyes.

When loved by someone, it can restore your hope in so many things.

You believe in all the impossible things, and you'll always be thankful to that person who brought back your faith in love. ;)

Bits and Pieces of Heartache

2010-11-24T00:46:00.000-08:00

I was browsing through my computer files, and I came across these articles I wrote before, which I call HURT BLOGS. I realize how time flies. Just when I thought I wouldn’t be able to recover from the heartaches I got, here I am feeling better than ever.

These hurts made me who I am today. They thought me a thing or two, so now I know how to choose my battles well. 

Happy or Sad?

I would like to think that I am happy right now because I do not cry at night like I used to do.

But then, you cannot measure one’s happiness with the absence or the amount of tears that a person sheds.

I’m a naturally jolly person, but there are times when I just cannot figure out if I am happy or sad.

Before, I feel I can lean on one person with the challenges I face. I had a shock absorber to take in all the angst I had… as it feels heavier day after day.

But I cannot tell now if there is one single person who will risk everything for me.

I may have met several men who are willing to offer their truest love to me… but I let them disappear in my life, because they lack one thing: consistency…

I may seem hard on the outside, but inside me, I’m just waiting for fuzzy romance. It may sound silly or corny for my age but poems excite me, flowers during Valentine’s Day thrill me, and sweet nothings are precious.

I had poems before, flowers, and sweet nothings… Now I cannot look forward, because I’m thinking if I’ll ever be so happy again.

Walking in the Park

I walked in the park and saw beautiful sceneries. I came across wonderful people who made my life more colorful. I enjoyed strolling alone. It made me feel I’m on top of the world.

Then I fell hard. I don’t know if it was the huge stones along the way or the wet grass. Perhaps I was hit by a creature I didn’t know was coming. Or maybe, the sun’s glare blocked my sight. But then, it’s only me to blame.

I stumbled along the way twice- and that made it more painful. I assumed I was guarded enough not to be hurt. But I was wrong. I give my trust easily, and I always see the bright side in each person, only to find out that I’m already scarred. I just refuse to believe that I got hit by something huge.

I should know this will come. I was at my most fragile state when I immersed myself into these crazy games. I admit that I was at my happiest, but it didn’t last.

One thing I learned is don’t walk in the park hastily when you’re vulnerable. You won’t be in a position to refuse love when it is offered. The next thing you know, your heart is broken again and you won’t know it unless someone tells you.

Don’t walk in the park when you’re at your most fragile state. You’ll trust easily, and it won’t be easy to admit that you’ve been hurt, again.

No Guarantees in Love

Guarding your heart too tight will not guarantee you that you won’t be hurt. Sometimes, pain comes to the most unexpected moments.

Just when you thought you found love at the right time, the truth will always make your intense emotions fizzle out that fast. Made believe that you had a chance together, you carry to sleep those sweet moments you had. Bu then time will come that you have to know what’s real and not. And that’s when your heart breaks…

You blame yourself for falling too fast. But isn’t he the one to blame as well? If he had not made you feel special, you wouldn’t be restless like this. If he had not raised your hopes high for a brand new love, you wouldn’t be lonely like this. You feel deceived, but you can’t let it out. Because what you had was brought about by spur of the moment thoughts and emotions. The problem was you were too emotional.

You just think that perhaps, if what you had was left somewhere where you started off, it won’t be so painful. You’re not really expecting something out of this but too bad you were drawn to him already even before you realize it. You both liked what you had, but reality is you can’t be together.

Moving on may be the hardest part. At first you’ll have many questions in your mind. You want answers, fast. But when you sit down and relax, you’ll realize that this experience taught you a valuable lesson in life. Whatever learning you gained will surely make you a stronger, and more secured person. So when the time comes that the right person comes along, you’ll be whole and well-grounded.

It’s ironic because after the pain, you feel happiness after. This is the best part. Liberating yourself from all the angst and heartache… Accepting things as they are, but still being optimistic about what life has to offer… You smile, and tell yourself, you’ve got an amazing story to tell your kids… After all, you had wonderful memories worth remembering. 

Looking Back, Moving Forward

2010-11-23T21:10:00.000-08:00

I’ve fallen many times - with someone new, with someone who’s just been there all along, with someone older, with someone younger, with someone so far away, with someone in a relationship, with someone who can’t commit… and the list can go on and on.

After every heartbreak, I tend to ask myself what went wrong – why it didn’t lead to a serious relationship, why things didn’t fall into place as expected, why the timing wasn’t right, and why is it always a short-lived love affair.

Then I realized that I shouldn’t waste time contemplating on what I might have done wrong. In the same way, I shouldn’t busy myself analyzing someone’s reasons for letting something that could have been special fall apart just like that. Because the answer lies in the fact, that things happen because both parties let it happen. And it’s never the accountability of just one person. Cliché as it may sound, it really takes two to tango.

Most of the time, I find myself falling for a person in different ways. The result is I also get hurt in different ways. And the brief connection or relationship breaks in various ways due to various reasons.

Here are the “someones” I have encountered in my life, some would be a mixture of two or several of these types. I recall what is it in them and what we had that made me believe in a happy ever after ending. Here, I also analyzed why after all the great times, things just didn’t work out.

• Someone new – Everything is bright and rosy. Your hopes are high that this may be the one thing you’ve been looking for. You tell yourself, he can be “the one.” It’s refreshing to fall for someone you’ve just met. You fulfill your fantasy of having soul mates and fairytale romance.

The catch: I fell in love with the idea of love. I liked the idea of something brand new, but not necessarily like everything about the person. Perhaps it was infatuation, but not really love.

• Someone who’s just been there all along – It was a pleasant surprise. Having a close friend who’s around for ages is sweet. But realizing that you are falling for someone you really knew from head to food is sweeter. No need for the awkward getting-to-know phase, because you know everything about this person. It’s lovely how friendship can turn into romance.

The catch: I felt too secured with my comfort zone, including that close friend who’s been there all along. I had someone I can call 24/7 without hesitation and he’ll be there. But I liked the security more than the emotional attachment. There was no real spark, so to speak.

• Someone much older - There’s something classy and mysterious about older men. Most of them usually treat women with utmost adoration, it’s no wonder it’s easy to fall for them. Perhaps because of their age and experience, they know how a woman wants to be treated as they seem more sensitive and mature. You get to talk about anything under the sun from the mundane things to the intellectual-type of discussions. It’s exciting how they let you argue with them but let you win in the end, just because they want to please you.

The catch: I was not ready for something long-term. While I enjoy all the attention and affection, I was still struggling on my own, wanting to achieve many things. He was so stable already, and I was not. I wanted a life of my own, and he wanted a life of our own already.

• Someone younger – It makes you enjoy life more than you think you are enjoying it now. Younger men seem to look up to you, and they love the fact that they got the attention of someone older. While you can’t expect them to be with you always on the same plane when it comes to serious stuff in life, you can count on them for the good times. They re-introduce you to the carefree life, and let you be a child from time to time. And this is a refreshing treat for someone who’s too caught up with work or other important matters.

The catch: I like it when a man has plans. And apparently, he did not have a clear direction of his own life, so how can I rely on him to make plans for us? I tend to have a dominant personality. While I am a bit stubborn and appear to want to get what I always want, I secretly wish that the man has the ability to lead me and not the other way around. He didn’t have a clue of what he wants in life, while I have my life quite mapped out already.

• Someone so far away – It keeps you wanting for more. The prospect of long distance love affair is daunting yet exciting. It’s disheartening at first, as your doubts tend to overcome you. You don’t know if it will work, and you don’t know how it will succeed. But the exciting part is you establish that special connection that you cannot explain. What makes it more beautiful is you carry with you that hope that time will come that you’ll turn your plans and fantasies into reality.

The catch: Distance and time apart can make or break a relationship, more so if it’s just a special connection. Both factors let me nurture extraordinary feelings that I have not felt for anyone who’s just within my reach. I though it would lead to something better, but I guess I was not ready to wait for what seems like forever to be with him. There were a lot of uncertainties, and it killed my interest in the person and in the potential of a life-long partnership.

• Someone in a relationship – It gives you a taste of a bitter sweet love affair. Nobody wants to be second best. But when you chanced upon a person who makes your heart beat in an instant, you refuse to let him go- even it means that you are just second in his life. A man who is in a relationship seems quite attractive because you know that someone else finds him attractive too. Grabbing his attention thrills you because it means he cannot resist you even if he is committed to someone else. You try your best to avoid falling, but the more you do that, the more you get attached to him.

The catch: The fact that he is committed to someone else is the main catch. I ignored this at the onset, relying on that strong hope that he will like me more than the person he is with. Good thing I didn’t let myself be drawn to him seriously. I let him go, because I know I deserve to be first in someone else’s life.

• Someone who can’t commit – You’re in for a rollercoaster ride. He’s single and appealing, but you don’t know for sure why he can’t commit even if it is obvious that he is into you. He is not consistent with his words and actions, but you try to justify everything he say or do. He is everything that you want, but you find yourself always second-guessing his true feelings for you. He is the aggressive type, yet he balks when you begin to get serious. He is the assertive type, yet he cringes at the idea of settling down. He is close to perfection, close to your ideal man, and that’s the only thing that is good about him. And because you are secretly hoping that he’s “the one”, you try to wait, enjoy the moment, and tell yourself, that time will come that he will commit.

The catch: He simply won’t commit. And I had to let go of him to shield myself from useless pain in waiting and hoping. He even had a hard time expressing his feelings, or at least acknowledge that what we had was special. I don’t need this crap, so I moved on.

You see, I’ve fallen many times - with someone new, with someone who’s just been there all along, with someone older, with someone younger, with someone so far away, with someone in a relationship, with someone who can’t commit… and the list can go on and on.

These caused me sleepless nights and emotional outbursts, but I have to say that these experiences made me a stronger and wiser me. I bring with me meaningful lessons that I cannot learn from any school in the world. As they say, experience is the best teacher.

I am looking forward to another whole new world of experience, hopefully this time with that someone I will spend with the rest of my life. I will not just fall… but I will fall in love both with the person and with the idea of love. 

Taking Short-Cuts

2010-11-01T23:30:00.000-07:00

I know when I'm about to fall for someone. I've seen the same things happening, and I have always felt the same way. I know the signs, and no matter how hard I avoid them, I still can't stop myself from feeling too drawn to someone. I tried to change, and for a while I have to say that I've become successful. I managed not to be so affectionate to one person and live my life normally. But at one point, IT will happen. I will forget the words chill, relax, cool, calm, etc. All I want is assurance from that person that his feelings for me are real and will not change. While I really try to go with the flow, something will just trigger that need in me to lay down the cards. I don't care if that might scare the guy away, as long as I get the answers I want now. I want to know what is and what is not. And I want straight answers, if what we have is going somewhere or not.

Some tell-tale signs that I'm into a person is when I feel irritated if he does not communicate with me like he used to. It's either he talks to me more often or just the same, but never less. Once I panic because I find the irregularity in his text messages or calls, then I'm hooked. I better get a good explanation for that because as they say if there's a will, there's a way. I hate lame excuses. If I easily feel bad when he says something negative about how I look, then I care about what that person thinks about me. Who wouldn't want to look and feel beautiful all the time for that man you secretly wish is yours? And once I start sending long emails, then that person has really grown special to me. I don't waste time composing emails or letters to someone I don't give a damn.

I'm starting to feel scared when these signs are happening... because I know that I am about to expose myself to another possible heartbreak. You don't have guarantees and assurances, all you've got are doubts and confusions. You want that time to come when both of you will know if you will commit with each other or not. But before that time arrives, you know that you have to go through a process, or a journey. But me? I'm stubborn. Most of the time, I want to skip that part. At the beginning, I'll enjoy it, but for some reason, I want to take the shorter way. I don't know why, but this has become a habit of mine. And my fear springs from my experience that short cuts can hurt you a lot. I hope to find that man who will be with me, despite the short cuts I'm fond of doing. Then I'll be willing to go the long, winding, rocky journey with him for the rest of my life.

Spell HAPPINESS

2010-10-25T01:28:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I last wrote about something that makes me happy. Part of me has been so cynical, that I refuse to believe that there is something for real that would give me happiness. Lately, I found myself basking in joy, and I don't know where this glow is coming from. :)

I'm just thankful that life still gives me more chances to smile. I am grateful for the blessings that were given to me. It's good that after all the hurts and disappointments in the past, I've mustered enough strength to dust myself and continue to carry on. I've learned to choose my battles well, and continue looking forward to a lovelier tomorrow. I know there's still more rough roads ahead, but I believe that we choose the way how our life will turn out.

And now I'm choosing to move forward. I want all the problems to worry about me, and not the other way around. I will spare myself from unnecessary pain by not over analyzing my situation. In short, just CHILL. :) Happiness comes when you're appreciating the view and enjoying the exciting ride.

Things I WILL DO Before Getting Married

2010-10-19T21:33:00.000-07:00

Maybe Cupid was lost along the way. And perhaps I came across some cupids pretending to be THE Cupid. Because I got hit by several arrows many times in the heart, only to find out that I've got a bleeding heart! Hahaha. Yes, I believe in Mr. Cupid and call me cheesy, but I'm someone who still believes in "THE ONE." I don't mind, because a lot of my friends believe in that, and not to mention soulmates too.

I have yet to find the love of my life. When I turned 27 last May, I admit that I sort of felt the pressure. Most of my relatives kept on asking me when is MY DAY, and WHO is the lucky one. I got irritated at times, but now I'm getting the hang of it. I told my self not to rush, and it will come. It's hard for me to believe this a few months back, but after all that happened in my life recently, I'm now chilling... and not worrying about it at all.

I want to focus on ME, as I've said in my previous post. :) And so, I came up with a list of what I WILL DO before I tie the knot:

1. Travel abroad alone. Okay, if not alone, with a close friend hahaha.. Because I'm not sure if I can manage my first travel overseas all by myself. Unlucky me, I haven't been to any other country but the Philippines. :( So I guess, that explains why travelling abroad is on top of my list! For my first trip overseas, I'd love to go to Singapore and Malaysia.

2. Start a business. And I don't just mean my current business which is selling goodies at work hehehe. Of course, it helps a lot. But I want a business wherein I will invest a a great deal of money, something from which I can gain big profit in the long run. I actually wanted to put up a bar and resto / grill or a spa hahaha.. But since I guess my savings in the next months won't be enough for this kind of business, then I'd go for a gift / school supplies shop. I don't know where, but I have to start somewhere!!

3. Write my partial memoir. If I'll compile all my writings in my journals and diaries, I can create a book already. Partial memoir only because my story will continue til I get married, have kids, and grow old! I want to show my memoir to my future husband, and share with him all that's in me, and in my heart.

I think I still have a lot in my list, but I'll stop at item number 3. Hehehe. I want my goals to be doable in terms of time, effort, and resources. Once I fulfill all of these, then I might add more to this list.

Disclaimer! These are the things I swear I will really, really do before marriage. BUT in case I can't fulfill all of these, and my man has come, and love love love swept me off my feet, then no one can stop me from getting married hahaha. Good luck to me! I'm sure I can do at least one of these in my list before MY DAY. :)

Making Uncertainties Certain

2010-10-18T21:41:00.001-07:00

Here are some random facts about me:

I never wanted the feeling of “being in the middle” of things.
I’m a person who always feels that sense of urgency to determine what is and what is not.
I have to always know where I stand in someone’s life.
I must be able to accurately tell what I feel.
I hate uncertainties.
I’d rather know that I’m depressed than not knowing whether I’m happy or sad.
I should know the plans.
I don’t like it if I’m left in the dark.
And yes, I sometimes hate surprises.

But after going through a fast ride recently, I felt that sometimes, it’s good to stay in the middle for a while. No rush, no pressures, no rollercoaster rides – just status quo. Having many options is of course better than not having any option at all. But you have to know when to push it further or just stop.

So now, I want to rest and just shut off from the world for the meantime.

I will stay “in the middle” for a while.
I will not make major or life-changing decisions.
I will go with the flow.
I will take it one day at a time.
I will stop meaningless encounters.
I will avoid people who don’t know what I am to them.
I will take it slow.
I will have time for myself.

Just me.

And I’ll look forward to that day, when I’ll be whole again, and ready to be with that someone who will offer me countless chances of forever- someone who will make all the uncertainties in life seem certain.

Quick-Fix

2010-10-12T20:54:00.000-07:00

It’s not easy to get over heartbreaks. And I don’t just mean those caused by silly romance, but all kinds of heartaches you can think of- family problem, financial worries, career stress, health concerns, identity crisis, etc. We have to admit that we don’t recover overnight. Some may take weeks, months, or even years. As they say, the pain will always be there. It’s just that you become numb or immune to it as time goes by.

I deal with agony by WALLOWING for at least a week, max two weeks. “Wallow” as in sulk, cry, mope, talk about it endlessly. I devote myself to depression, I choose to remain helpless… as in wallow! Hahaha. Lucky me I have at my disposal my shrink and therapist friends who have no choice but to deal with my bouts of sadness, sometimes anger and frustration. I tend to overanalyze things- what should have happened, what I did wrong, what could have been done to prevent the mess. I will be at my worst, I will get sick, I will withdraw from the world, and I won’t have a sense of focus during this period. But what’s good about me is I guess, I can bounce back easily after the “wallowing period.”

I’m not saying I will be totally okay after wallowing, but I’ll be back on track at the very least. I won’t be at my happiest of course, but I can manage to laugh from time to time. I will still have “emo” moments, but nevertheless it’s not too much for people around me to be very concerned.

What do I do after wallowing? I do quick-fixes- easy things to do to cure my broken heart, things that will comfort me, and will remind me that hey (cliché as it may sound), there’s a rainbow after the rain. I’d like to share some of my quick-fixes. Some of these are actually common to women, but for those who are still looking for quick-fixes, you might want to try a thing or two from my list:

1. Having a new haircut or new color of hair – like most women, this gives me a feeling of a “brand new me”

2. Eating chocolates – they never fail to lighten up my mood

3. Changing bed sheet and pillow cases – for a more comfortable sleep

4. Slathering my body with baby oil before I sleep – makes me forget problems even for a while

5. Creating a “chill” playlist in my ipod – music soothes me

6. Reading my diaries when I was in gradeschool and highschool – to laugh about my childishness, it’s so refreshing you just want to go back to childhood

7. Writing in my journal – it’s like I am able to transfer all my angst to the journal

8. Buying new earrings or headband – can’t get enough of these, they make me look and feel beautiful despite what I’m going through

9. Deleting old files in my PC and old messages in my phone – it makes me feel much organized, making me more eager to start anew

10. Clothing stuffed toys and dolls – especially my Dora doll; pagiging isip-bata sometimes gives me joy. Call me weird, but I sort of feel that I re-connect with my innermost being when I dress up dolls hahaha, they make me feel I’m needed and I make them happy.

11. Drinking Starbucks Mocha Frappe Coffee or my mom’s coffee – uplifts my spirit, especially when I drink it over a light conversation with a friend, sister, special someone, or my mom

12. Fixing my closet – pulling out clothes I don’t wear anymore is like eliminating all the unnecessary clutters in my mind

Quick-fixes are easy to do and very affordable! They may not totally solve all your problems in the world, but they definitely help you regain your sanity. They don’t give you the answers you are looking for, but they give you a break that you truly need. They are not life-changing, but they can help you change the way you deal with the hardships you are encountering. Quick-fixes may not guarantee that you’ll become a better person, but they will surely let you realize that despite everything, it’s still a wonderful world out there!

Playlist of my Heart - Part 1

2010-10-12T01:12:00.000-07:00

I love music. I'm at my best when I hear melody. I just can't imagine my life without songs. I may not be a very good singer, but I can still sing a few lines especially during videoke nights. And here are some of the tracks which are included in the playlist of my heart:

1. Light and Shade by Fra Lippo Lippi

Be proud to wear the colours that you call your own
Be loud, speak out when the world to know
Be strong, hold the flame for everyone to see
Be weak, if you want to love.

This is my care-free song. It brings me back to places in the past, more of happy memories that I want to revisit over and over again. When I sing this, it reminds me of good old times with closest friends. The best line in this song for me is “Be weak if you want to love.” Giddy it may sound, I’m a person who puts her heart on her sleeves. It’s fulfilling, because I know I’ve given my best shot when it comes to love. Though sometimes I have to learn the hard way, I never regret anything, and I’d surely risk again if I want to love and be loved in return.

2. Linger by Cranberries

But I’m in so deep. You know I’m such a fool for you. You got me wrapped around your finger. Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to, Do you have to let it linger?

I’ve heard this song many times, but I got to appreciate it only when I watched the movie “Click.”This movie teaches us that life is too short, so let your loved ones feel that you value them. I cried when I watched this movie, and when I heard “Linger”, I cried the more. The song reminds me to grab the chances given to us to express how we truly feel for our dear ones. Let your love linger!

3. You Don’t Know Me by Michael Buble

You give your hand to me
Then you say hello
I can hardly speak
My heart is beating so
And anyone can tell
You think you know me well
But you don't know me

This song is just so romantic, period. It sends shiver to my spines. I’d surely melt. This song just sweeps me off my feet.

4. You’re still you by Josh Groban

I look up to
Everything you are
In my eyes you do no wrong
I've loved you for so long
And after all is said and done
You're still you
After all
You're still you

Recently, I’ve discovered through my sister how relaxing Josh Groban music is. I was never a fan of Josh Groban but there was one time when I was so stressed that I got the chance to listen closely to some of his songs when I was staring blankly at the ceiling. This is just one of his songs that I’ve learned to love. It detoxifies me. I don’t know exactly how I feel everytime I listen to it, but I feel “revitalized” perhaps. It seems that angels are carrying me to heavens.

5. She by Elvis Costello

She
May be the song that summer sings
May be the chill that autumn brings
May be a hundred different things
Within the measure of a day

This was the song that played during my 18th birthday, that’s why this is so memorable to me. I would never forget that feeling I had as I wore my pink gown and walked like a princess just for that night. That experience with family and close friends was priceless.

6. Hero by Enrique Iglesias

I can be you hero baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away

I was once a damsel in distress, and I had my hero. This is one of those special songs I hold in my heart because it let me feel taken care of. I knew how it felt to be helpless and having someone to just be there for you is more than enough. This song is brimming with passion and for me, unconditional love.

7. Just Another Woman in Love by Anne Murray

I'm strong, I'm sure, I'm in control, a lady with a plan
Believing that life is a neat little package I hold in my hand
I've got it together, they call me "the girl who knows just what to say and do"
Still I fumble and fall, run into the wall, 'cause when it comes to you, I'm
Just another woman in love

I know this is a very melodramatic song of a hopeless romantic woman, but for some reason, I love singing this during karaoke nights. I can sing it with gusto, with matching facial expression. I think I like this song because as my friends say, it seems that I’m always a woman in love. Sometimes stupid, foolish, gullible, but nevertheless, full of love!

8. Swept Away by Christopher Cross

I never had anything happen so fast
I took one look and I shattered like glass
I guess I let it show 'cause your smile told me you knew
That you're everything I ever wanted at once
There's no holding this heart when it knows what it wants
And I never wanted anything more than to know you

I am a fan of whirlwind romance. Something that’s unexpected is always a lovely surprise. This song can simply make me fall in love a hundred times.

9. Angels by Robbie Williams

And through it all she offers me protection
a lot of love and affection
whether I’m right or wrong
and down the waterfall
wherever it may take me
I know that life wont break me
when I come to call she wont forsake me
I’m loving angels instead

I didn’t know this song, until someone dedicated this song to me. I was touched when he sang this to me, and I’ll forever remember that. I don’t even think of myself as angelic, but I guess I had this certain effect on him which made him feel that I was his angel. Even if he’s not with me anymore, I’m grateful to have been an angel at least once in my life.

10. Take a Chance on me by Abba

I fell in love with this song when I watched Mamma Mia. It’s a feel good romantic movie that thrills me. When I listen to this song, it carries me to places I’ve never been. I’d love to go around the world and take countless chances to live each day as if it's my last!

27 Smileys

2010-04-24T02:18:00.000-07:00

In a few days I’ll be turning 27. As expected, I’m being a bit reflective about it and thought of writing about the 27 sources of my smiles, or what I call smileys. These are the activities I enjoy, the things I love, and the philosophies (or short quotes?) I always try to imbibe:

1. Beaching – as in going to the beach. Just the thought of being in the beach makes my heart skip. For some reason, I think the beach’s sand and the sun have antioxidants that make me feel terribly blissful

2. Picturing – as in taking, developing, uploading, compiling, tagging, and sharing pictures. I am so sentimental that I want all moments captured. I am slowly building my library and archives of photos. Slowly, because it’s a bit expensive to develop all my pictures and buy photo albums for them!

3. Body Scrubbing & Massaging – as in going to the spa to have body scrub and massage, or calling a manghihilot to massage me at home. I always can’t get enough of these because I am often stressed out with a lot of things that I just want to hibernate. This is one of the ultimate treats for me.

4. Eating – as in pigging out on my favorite foods. I guess most people divert to eating when anxious, stressed, or simply tired. I can eat any kind of pasta for one whole month. Blue berry cheesecake can lighten up my day. Sushi, California Maki, Siomai, and Shawarma are mood enhancers for me. I have always wanted to learn how to cook kare-kare. If I have lots of money, I’ll splurge on fruits – apples, bananas, oranges, grapes, and watermelon!

5. Journaling – as in writing about the blahhs, the boohs, yiheeees and the yayyyys in my life. I’ve never kept track how many notebooks, diaries, and journals I have in my room. Since Grade Six I think, I’ve been writing journals. I find joy in writing anything I feel about. I feel giddy whenever I read them over and over again. Makes me feel like a child from time to time.

6. Sleeping – as in lying in my bed, eyes shut and dozing off to nothingness. It is now that I truly appreciate the value of sleep. There are times that I give up parties and events just to sleep, period.

7. Emoting – as in talking with a close friend to share your deepest thoughts and emotions. I have a lot to say and I love it that my friends also have a lot to say about certain issues in life. It’s so soothing for me to just rant and rave about anything or anyone close to my heart.

8. Traveling – as in going to far away places. I especially love long rides, because I enjoy sight-seeing. I get enamored easily by new places, especially if it’s close to nature, the people are warm and the food is great. I wish I could go soon to Batanes, Palawan, and Bantayan Island.

9. Reading – as in reading anything that gives me new information. I get bored if I don’t get to read anything in a day. I just feel that I have to read a newspaper or magazine each day to keep me going. I know many hate reading, but believe me, it can do wonders for you.

10. Facebooking – as in exploring Facebook til my eyes twitch. I can express myself in FB, comment about a friend’s status, catch the latest gossips, and browse my photos over and over again. And of course, I still love Café World!

11. Ipod – with all the music I love to hear day in and day out. I can’t focus with work or studies without any music at all. I am more inspired with music – alternative, sentimental, and acoustic rock.

12. Dora the Explorer Doll – with the purple sleeveless outfit I dressed her with. Just looking at her makes me feel so happy, she reminds me of carefree days. I also love squeezing her fat brown hands and fat white shoes.

13. Landbankoop – with forced savings, dividend, and loan benefits. I like the idea of having a forced savings which I cannot withdraw unless I decide not to be a koop member anymore. Seeing my savings grow gives me joy and peace of mind. I always look forward every pay day to deposit even P500 in my koop account.

14. Flowers – with a short note. It’s cheesy, but it’s still romantic. My heart melts whenever I receive flowers, that for a few minutes I feel so high.

15. Mcdo Hot Fudge – with fries and with someone to talk to. This is what I call “cheap thrill.” I instantly get relaxed after a long day, by spending P50 only and having good company.

16. Star Bucks Mocha Frappe – with nothing. Now this is the “not-so cheap thrill.” From time to time I reward myself with a grande mocha frappe from Starbucks, and just share lull moments with a friend.

17. Ukay-Ukay and Tiangge – with stylish but low-cost clothes. I can experiment with a lot of outfits by rummaging through the racks of ukay-ukays and tiangges. I don’t really mind the big crowds, I feel ecstatic when I am able to go home with “good finds.”

18. Dusk – with the breeze. There’s something with this time of the day that makes me feel so nostalgic I can’t help but really smile. Perhaps it reminds me that tomorrow will be a better day.

19. Aquarium – with plenty of fish. I believe studies that say that having an aquarium at home is beneficial to one’s health. I enjoy watching a school of fish swim, it just takes away all my worries, even for just a few minutes.

20. New Bag – with a big space to put all my stuffs. Any new bag perks me up. I feel brand new whenever I have a new, spacious and classy bag. It’s so therapeutic to shop for a new bag, and even much better if it’s a gift from someone else.

21. “Life is short.” – This makes me more eager to do new things in life. Thinking that life is short also encourages me to love more the people around me and to share more to others.

22. “You can’t please everybody.” – Whenever I feel like shutting off from the rest of the world, I put this in mind. It makes me realize that hey, I’m still human. I have to accept and deal with the fact that not everyone will be pleased with what I do.

23. “Let’s see where the winds of the night will take us.” – I take pleasure in a “come what may” attitude. It’s so refreshing to be a kid, and go with the flow from time to time. A rendezvous never fails to make me smile.

24. “Everything happens for a reason.” – I try to see things in perspective, especially when things don’t seem to be fair. Bad things don’t just happen. There’s a reason for them, and the good thing is we learn from them and become stronger.

25. “Happiness is a choice.” – Be sad, and the world will not stop for you. So why stress yourself about things beyond your control? Just be happy!

26. “Choose your battles.” - Be a fighter, but learn how to choose your battles in life. There are challenges which you can deal with, and some which are meant to be simply ignored.

27. “Keep the faith.” – Faith in the Lord is powerful. Just believe that He will give what is for you. I always keep in mind that He answers our prayers in three ways: a.) yes, b.) no, then gives it to you during the right time, and c.) no, then gives you something much better.