WATER + SOAP = BUBBLES: THINGS I LOOK FORWARD TO

1. My Mascot to come home – The thought of my one and only love coming home definitely sends shivers to my spine hahaha. I miss everything about him – the way he makes me laugh, the way he looks and smiles at me, the way he holds my hands, the way he touches me, the way he kisses me… and just the way he is!

2. Purchase house and lot / renovate the house - Of course, through housing loan for employees-
With a very low interest (4% per annum) payable in I think 15-25 years. Though sometimes I’m afraid of the thought of being tied to the company I’m working in for what seems like forever because of the loan, I think it’s really a really good deal that I should grab. I’ll stress about the advance payments I intend to make after the loan has been released.


3. Finish Graduate School – Going back to school, so far, has been a fun and rewarding experience. Though it sometimes stresses me out because of conflicting schedule with work, I’m glad that I took the chance to study again. I think 3 more sems and I’m done! Hopefully I pass the compre exam.


4. More savings – Now that my sister has finished school, I can save up more money. I have always wanted to save at least 5% of my monthly salary ever since but I was not able to do so because almost all of my income go to my sister’s tuition fee or loan payments. I’m glad I have accumulated quite a lot of savings since I opened my LANDBANKOOP account. I now also have another bank account which serves as my piggy bank for my savings from my salary every pay day. And of course, I’m looking forward also to the General Assembly of the Quatros Marias Cooperativas with my amigas Bonn, Jen, and Pam – just means more shopping cash for Christmas!

5. Coron vacation – Booked for November this year with Pam, Marly, and Marvin. It’s my major major beach escapade for this year. Would you believe I haven’t been to the beach last summer ever?! So before the year ends, I’m going to Coron, Palawan and chill!


6. Real Estate Sideline – Though I’m already doing initial talks with some of my contacts, I have to really devote more time for this business. I hope I can find time to attend the seminars so I can officially begin working as an agent or broker. I think I can manage this on top of my regular work and school. Is a P30,000 commission every other month feasible? Hehehe.


7. Compile photos – This has always been a dream! I have lots of photos printed out but they’re just stuck in my cabinet. I want to see all of my photos systematically arranged in photo albums. I won’t do scrapbooking though, just plain albums would do. I’m not really satisfied with my photos being posted in Facebook. I want hard copies that can be shown to visitors at home. And personally, I want to browse albums during rainy days while listening to music and sipping a cup of coffee! Bliss. 


8. Convert video tapes to DVD – I have always planned to convert my 7th birthday video (in Betamax) and 18th birthday video (in VHS) into DVD. I’m afraid I would lose those captured memories because the tapes have tarnished already. I want to watch these videos again and relish those carefree days- especially my 7th birthday video where I can watch my dad alive and kicking.


9. Body Scrub – Calling my BSB!!! (Body Scrub Buddy).. It has been ages since we last indulged in body scrub hahaha. I hope that before this year ends, we’ll have at least one BS session.- Wensha or even Let’s Face it (the orig hehe).

10. Getting engaged and married – HAHAHA. Enough said. :D BUBBLES! ;)

Giddy :D

Waking up with happy thoughts,

Eating a hearty breakfast,

Savoring the cool morning breeze,

Smiling out of the blue,

Humming a love song at work.



Thoughts that excite,

A breakfast that awakens,

The breeze that soothes,

A smile that bewilders,

A song that captivates.



Exciting feelings,

Awakened senses,

Soothed emotions,

Bewildering glow,

Captivating spirit.



Feelings,

Senses,

Emotions,

Glow,

Sprit.



Giddy.

Blahhhhhs and Counter-Blahhhhhs

When I have a hard time getting up in the morning for the entire week, it’s a blahhh sign. Blahhhhh means a lot of things - boredom, irritation, agitation, loss of focus and drive. It’s an inevitable mood, I guess, for everyone who has a routine to follow every day. I know I’m blahhhh when all I look forward to every start of the day is the end of the day.

Is it unhealthy? Of course, many will say yes. Most people will tell me that I should redirect my energy to something more productive to shake away the blahhhs. But how will I do that, when the mere act of thinking about the entire day already irks me?

To a certain extent, I believe that yes, being in a blahhh mood is not healthy because it robs you off the enthusiasm in the things that you usually enjoy doing. But I also think that having blahhhh moments from time to time enables you to gain a better perspective of yourself- your character, goals, and priorities in life. But I will not justify here my blahhhs, I wanna indulge in blahhhs and acknowledge the fact that I’m experiencing blahhhhhs a lot of times lately.

Blahhhs actually don’t just come out of nowhere. It’s a form of emotion which was developed through time, and due to several circumstances:

• When most of the time you are forced to deal with things that are beyond your control
• When you can always predict what will happen and what will be asked of you to do
• When you question yourself if you are doing enough even if you know that you’ve done enough
• When you feel mechanical and robotic of the things that you are doing
• When you start feeling tired because you see that other people do not do much but they can do away with it
• When you catch yourself daydreaming of the person you want to be and the place you want to be, which is of course, not the person you are now and the place you are in.

Fine, I complain and whine a lot. But honestly, I just can’t force myself to feel oh so good about the daily grind at work. Perhaps lately, 85% of the time I know what will happen, and how I will react to things and to some people. And when I feel this, I don’t over react anymore because most of the time it seems de ja vu to me – like I’ve seen this, nothing totally new. This only means, that I’m close to being jaded already.

Being jaded, for me, is the worst form of blahhhh- you just take things as they are, and you don’t feel the drive to make things better at all. You just want to accomplish what you have to do, enough of the bright and out of the box ideas. Your line of thinking is, why take on more work when you yourself is heavily loaded and you can barely comb your hair?

While I’ve been blahhhh recently until today, I’m still hoping that I can regain my excitement with a lot of things at work. You don’t need to push yourself to be more motivated – motivation is not forced upon you. You don’t even have to concentrate more – this may stress you more. And most importantly, you don’t have to pressure yourself to like something just because you have to simply because you will always have a choice. You know that if it’s too much, and you’re not happy anymore, you just have to get out. So as long as you are not getting out, then you still believe that things will eventually be better, and become happier for you.

So for the meantime, if you still decide to stay where you are, then take things as they are. To free yourself from unnecessary blahhhhs, I think you just need to learn to choose the things and people that you will allow to drain your energy. Here’s how:

• If it’s beyond your control, let it be.
• If you can’t handle it, ask help.
• If you don’t want to do it, propose compromise.

It’s easier said than done, I know. But if you think about it, you are worried a lot of what others will say about you. But have you asked yourself what you really want? While at work we don’t get to always choose what we want, remember that there are two essential things that you should do to make things lighter – to simply accept things as they are and to continue exploring for more opportunities beyond work- not necessarily a new career, but perhaps new activities that you will enjoy that are not work-related.

In the morning as you face your computer at work, just look in the mirror and say: “Matatapos din ang araw na ito. Countdown: 9 hours! ”

Quotes Quotes Quotes (1)

1. Staying with someone you really like even if you know you can't be together for a lot of reasons is like standing under the rain... It feels good but you know it will make you sick.

2. When it rains, all the birds fly for shelter. But eagle alone avoids the rain by flying above the clouds. Problems are common to all but attitude makes the difference.

3. If you're shopping for a happy ending and you couldn't find one, buy a new beginning instead.

4. If you don't get out of the box you've been raised in, you won't understand how much bigger the world is. Dream on... Just do it!

5. Don't always say that "there's still time", because there's also a concept of "too late."

6. When you appreciate something, it appreciates in value. Bless the little and the little becomes a lot. When you do not appreciate something, it depreciates in value.

7. One thing worse than a quitter is the person who is afraid to begin. Doing your best is more important than being the best.

8. I always make someone happy even if I'm not... But it doesn't mean that I'm a pretender. I only want to be positive while my own world is negative.

9. Just when you've moved on and thought you've finally gone far enough, something brings you to a touchstone. And that's when you realize... Love has a habit of coming back.

10. If your head tells you one thing and your heart tells you another, before you do anything, decide first whether you have a better head or a better heart.

11. It's just simple. You don't really have to think too much... "Be with someone who knows what they have when they have you."

12. Someone asked me if I know him... a million memories flashed through my mind... then I whispered... "No... not anymore."

13. It's easy to asnwer the questions: Are you happy being with me?, Am I important to you?, Do you love me? But the hardest question is... "Until when?"

14. Freedom is something everyone wants to have at some point in time. But then, we can't remain free always. Because one day, we'll realize that to be with someone is much better than freedom itself.

15. If he acts like you're not worth in his time, maybe you're not what he wants... You're just a replacement for what he can't have.

16. If somebody is taking advantage of your feelings knowing that you love him, then tell him this: "I'm just in love and not desperate."

17. The only way you'll know how important something in your life is when it's taken away from you by someone who can take good care of it better than you do.

18. Every bad situation will have something positive. Even a stopped clock shows correct time twice a day. So stay positive in life.

19. It's not always right to stay in pain when you know you've already had too much... And it isn't always wrong to be happy when you know it's about time that you deserve to be.

20. Sacrifices are sometimes useless especially if that someone doesn't know how to appreciate... They'll come to realize important things when it's already too late.

A Very Special Love Affair

Last night, I thought I lost my phone. It almost broke my heart into pieces. Many questions entered my mind, and I can barely identify my exact feelings then. I was laughing with my friends, but inside I was weeping. I kept on eating what’s on my plate, but my mind was somewhere else.

I was feeling less and less optimistic that I’d find my phone again, but I know there’s still a flicker of hope in my heart. I told myself, I can’t give up on my phone. Not this time, not this way… I would rather break up with my phone in the near future. I’d prefer also if it gives up one me. But me?? I won’t. Because I have developed a very special love affair with my phone.

How?

1. It wakes me up. If it’s gone, I won’t be on time for work most of the time because I have trouble getting up early without my phone’s sweet alarm.
2. When I wake up, it’s the first things I look at and touch.
3. My phone has been witness to all my outbursts of joy and sadness.
4. It knows a lot of secrets about me. I can’t lie to my phone. It’s in it that I open up all my emotions.
5. It has seen me fall in love and get hurt many times.
6. Before I go to sleep, it’s the last things I loot at and touch.
7. It has many uses. I use my phone as calculator, mini notebook, calendar, and photo album. I also use it as a mirror from time to time.
8. My phone captures stolen moments.
9. My phone comforts me when I’m down. I can stare at it and browse through it for hours without getting bored. And then I’d be able to sleep and forget all my worries.
10. My phone is one of my mood indicators, like Facebook. Its wall paper, theme, text settings, and phonebook settings tell a lot about my mood. In short, I express myself though my phone as well!

I’m sooooooo happy to be reunited with my phone. I learned my lesson well. Love your phone, just as you love someone special. Nurture the relationship you have, and you’ll never go wrong. If my phone could talk, I know it will tell me that it loves me too. Hahaha.

I can go out without money, as long as I have my phone- but with powder and lipstick. And yes, Betty Boop saves the day! 

Glow :)

Many times you have cursed love, for being such a pain.

A lot of instances, you vow never to love so deeply again.

You've told all your friends that you need a lot of time to be able to fall in love again.

You put boundaries, thinking that it will help you heal completely.



But you can't ambush love when it's coming your way.

You can't turn away from it when it presents itself.

You can't ignore love, and you can never run away from it.

Because you know that even if you've been burnt in love, your heart will always choose to love again.

You know for a fact that the happiness it can bring, surpasses any heartache you can imagine.



No matter how hard you contain the joy in your heart, your eyes will always reveal what your heart tries to hide.

Love, indeed has the power to bring back the glow in your eyes.

When loved by someone, it can restore your hope in so many things.

You believe in all the impossible things, and you'll always be thankful to that person who brought back your faith in love. ;)

Bits and Pieces of Heartache

I was browsing through my computer files, and I came across these articles I wrote before, which I call HURT BLOGS. I realize how time flies. Just when I thought I wouldn’t be able to recover from the heartaches I got, here I am feeling better than ever.

These hurts made me who I am today. They thought me a thing or two, so now I know how to choose my battles well. 



Happy or Sad?

I would like to think that I am happy right now because I do not cry at night like I used to do.

But then, you cannot measure one’s happiness with the absence or the amount of tears that a person sheds.

I’m a naturally jolly person, but there are times when I just cannot figure out if I am happy or sad.

Before, I feel I can lean on one person with the challenges I face. I had a shock absorber to take in all the angst I had… as it feels heavier day after day.

But I cannot tell now if there is one single person who will risk everything for me.

I may have met several men who are willing to offer their truest love to me… but I let them disappear in my life, because they lack one thing: consistency…

I may seem hard on the outside, but inside me, I’m just waiting for fuzzy romance. It may sound silly or corny for my age but poems excite me, flowers during Valentine’s Day thrill me, and sweet nothings are precious.

I had poems before, flowers, and sweet nothings… Now I cannot look forward, because I’m thinking if I’ll ever be so happy again.


Walking in the Park

I walked in the park and saw beautiful sceneries. I came across wonderful people who made my life more colorful. I enjoyed strolling alone. It made me feel I’m on top of the world.

Then I fell hard. I don’t know if it was the huge stones along the way or the wet grass. Perhaps I was hit by a creature I didn’t know was coming. Or maybe, the sun’s glare blocked my sight. But then, it’s only me to blame.

I stumbled along the way twice- and that made it more painful. I assumed I was guarded enough not to be hurt. But I was wrong. I give my trust easily, and I always see the bright side in each person, only to find out that I’m already scarred. I just refuse to believe that I got hit by something huge.

I should know this will come. I was at my most fragile state when I immersed myself into these crazy games. I admit that I was at my happiest, but it didn’t last.

One thing I learned is don’t walk in the park hastily when you’re vulnerable. You won’t be in a position to refuse love when it is offered. The next thing you know, your heart is broken again and you won’t know it unless someone tells you.

Don’t walk in the park when you’re at your most fragile state. You’ll trust easily, and it won’t be easy to admit that you’ve been hurt, again.



No Guarantees in Love

Guarding your heart too tight will not guarantee you that you won’t be hurt. Sometimes, pain comes to the most unexpected moments.

Just when you thought you found love at the right time, the truth will always make your intense emotions fizzle out that fast. Made believe that you had a chance together, you carry to sleep those sweet moments you had. Bu then time will come that you have to know what’s real and not. And that’s when your heart breaks…

You blame yourself for falling too fast. But isn’t he the one to blame as well? If he had not made you feel special, you wouldn’t be restless like this. If he had not raised your hopes high for a brand new love, you wouldn’t be lonely like this. You feel deceived, but you can’t let it out. Because what you had was brought about by spur of the moment thoughts and emotions. The problem was you were too emotional.

You just think that perhaps, if what you had was left somewhere where you started off, it won’t be so painful. You’re not really expecting something out of this but too bad you were drawn to him already even before you realize it. You both liked what you had, but reality is you can’t be together.

Moving on may be the hardest part. At first you’ll have many questions in your mind. You want answers, fast. But when you sit down and relax, you’ll realize that this experience taught you a valuable lesson in life. Whatever learning you gained will surely make you a stronger, and more secured person. So when the time comes that the right person comes along, you’ll be whole and well-grounded.

It’s ironic because after the pain, you feel happiness after. This is the best part. Liberating yourself from all the angst and heartache… Accepting things as they are, but still being optimistic about what life has to offer… You smile, and tell yourself, you’ve got an amazing story to tell your kids… After all, you had wonderful memories worth remembering. 