Fr. Suarez' Healing Mass

After attending Fr. Suarez' healing mass last Monday, I felt lighter than ever. I just hope that this new-found optimism would last. I know that it will not be easy - to be always cheerful, to see things in perspective most of the time, and to be more patient.

My life has been better in many aspects this year. But admittedly, I've never changed. I still whine about things I want to have, and I still complain a lot. Instead of appreciating what I have, I tend to focus on what's missing in my life. After listening to Fr. Suare'z homily the other day, I reflected and told myself that really, we should live our lives to the fullest and stop complaining.

I can't promise that I won't complain ever because that will be inhuman, but I'll try at least to focus on the positive things in my life.

I want to thank the Lord for blessing me with a stable job in a reputable institution, the opportunity to pursue Graduate Studies, loving and supportive family and friends, a relationship that is bound to last forever, and a person who loves and understands me completely. I could not ask for more.

Of course, there are still a lot of things that I wish for... But I know that God will give them to me during the right time. I pray that He will grant me patience, patience, patience.

Patience reaps happiness. I should know, because I found out that true love waits. :) It may seem like forever waiting for the right person for you. But when you meet that person meant for you, you will just feel that he is indeed a gift from God that's worth the wait.

Cheers to Fr. Suarez for the wake-up call! And cheers to the Lord for his undying love for all of us. ;)

Steady in Love

Before, I tend to measure the intensity of my feelings for a person with the level of “kilig” moments. I associate my “being all smiles” and “being on a high” with a potential of true love. But now I’m feeling that something inside me has changed.

Gone are the days when I get so envious of girls who have a very happy love life. I no longer feel the pressure to go search for ‘the one” whenever a friend of mine starts a relationship with someone new. And I don’t feel irritated anymore with my nosy aunts and uncles who kept on asking me when will I tie the knot...simply because I’ve found THE ONE. 

I guess, this quote is one of my guiding principles in my life now: “Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.”

Our relationship has calmed me in many ways. With him by my side, I’ve been slowly learning how to worry less and be more patient. So far, our relationship has been smooth and he has made me happy in a thousand ways. This does not mean though that the steadiness of our relationship makes me less dreamy in love and romance.

I still feel the jitters whenever he gets near me, I still feel giddy when he looks at me, and I feel like melting right then and there when he starts to hold me near. Just the idea of him touching me is enough to send shivers to my spine! See, it’s still the same old me! I’m still the same hopeless romantic Nicole who used to dream of having a happy ending with my prince- only a little wiser and more focused in more important things in the relationship such as the plans for the future.

Now, I can say that I have intense feelings for him that go beyond “being all smiles” and “being on a high.” “Intense feelings” is in fact a weak phrase to capture my exact emotions. All I can is, I know that I love him because I am willing to sacrifice a lot of things for him, to risk everything just to be with him, and to hold on no matter what challenges may come our way.

Crispy Pata Craving

Yesterday, I was craving for crispy pata. It was about past 3 PM and I was busy working at my desk when suddenly, I imagined that I was feasting on crispy pata with rice and toyo with sili as sawsawan plus a glass of cold Coke! Yummy! Hayyyy.. and I guess until now I feel that I need to eat crispy pata!!! :D My taste buds just won't let it go. I can't stop thinking about crispy pata.... how will I get over this feeling???

Weird, but I also feel a bit nostalgic of the thought of crispy pata. When we were younger and my dad was still alive, he used to ask us to buy Ka Hector's ever famous crispy pata near our house. It was the best crispy pata in Pasig I guess! So tender, juicy, and smells good! My brother and I would usually walk hand in hand and enter a small eskinita to go to Ka Hector's house turned crispy pata store. From their gate we would already smell that perfect aroma that we just wanna head home with that crispy pata and start to devour it. Good ol childhood days are just some of the best times in my life. I never get tired reminiscing about them... until now I remember the smell, the feel, and the taste of Ka Hector's crispy pata.

Now, enough of this melodrama portion. I just want to eat crispy pata!!! :D

To be or not to be fat?

A month ago, I was complaining a lot.- I’m getting fat, my clothes won’t fit, I look a bit ugly chubby! I didn’t do anything about it; I didn’t go on a diet or exercise. But a ‘subconsicous’ part of me (if that’s what you call it, like an impulsive reaction that you’re not fully aware of?) knew I was cutting back on eating. I used to eat a lot, pandesal on my desk, cookies in my bag, siomai side trip on my way home… But when comments like “you’re fat” and “you should lose weight” started bugging me, I panicked. I eliminated the pandesal, the ccokies, and just occasional siomai! Just one comment about my size and there you go, I start to feel that the whole world is on my shoulders. Then I’d start googling about “tips to lose weight” and “why you’re fat.” Hello Little Ms. Worry!
A while ago, I got that “you’re getting skinny” comment from three people – my mom, my officemate, and a co-employee from another department. And ironically (or not), I had that same irritated feeling when I hear that “you’re fat” statement. What should I do???
I love my body but I hate it that it changes so fast! If only I could just maintain the ideal weight and look. And why are people around me always take notice of any changes in my body??? Hahaha. I just want to be a bubble! Bubble forever! Hahaha. :D

Now, you judge: Fat or skinny??