Before, I tend to measure the intensity of my feelings for a person with the level of “kilig” moments. I associate my “being all smiles” and “being on a high” with a potential of true love. But now I’m feeling that something inside me has changed.
Gone are the days when I get so envious of girls who have a very happy love life. I no longer feel the pressure to go search for ‘the one” whenever a friend of mine starts a relationship with someone new. And I don’t feel irritated anymore with my nosy aunts and uncles who kept on asking me when will I tie the knot...simply because I’ve found THE ONE.
I guess, this quote is one of my guiding principles in my life now: “Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.”
Our relationship has calmed me in many ways. With him by my side, I’ve been slowly learning how to worry less and be more patient. So far, our relationship has been smooth and he has made me happy in a thousand ways. This does not mean though that the steadiness of our relationship makes me less dreamy in love and romance.
I still feel the jitters whenever he gets near me, I still feel giddy when he looks at me, and I feel like melting right then and there when he starts to hold me near. Just the idea of him touching me is enough to send shivers to my spine! See, it’s still the same old me! I’m still the same hopeless romantic Nicole who used to dream of having a happy ending with my prince- only a little wiser and more focused in more important things in the relationship such as the plans for the future.
Now, I can say that I have intense feelings for him that go beyond “being all smiles” and “being on a high.” “Intense feelings” is in fact a weak phrase to capture my exact emotions. All I can is, I know that I love him because I am willing to sacrifice a lot of things for him, to risk everything just to be with him, and to hold on no matter what challenges may come our way.